This is the only photo that i possessed of which my grandma smile heartily. She just went away yesterday near afternoon in front of our family members. Most of our family members were there around her when her pulse rate and breathing rate drop slowly. We tried to call her loud hopefully she could gives us some respond. All my family members were crying when my dad, who himself is crying sadly, was holding my grandma hand tried to feel to the last pulse rate. I was shock at that scene and could not cry like others. All i can do is to hug on my father and try to hold him up. It is the first time that i had encounter such a situation. I am all blank myself. I am not cold-blooded guy, however, i just refuse totally to accept such fact that my kind grandma had gone. Until i went near her to ask her for respond. Holding on her cold hand, i tried to ask my grandma to wait for my graduation, wait for my wedding and my son. I cried like a baby begging her dont go...
How silly am i? I know! She is too ill to do so and she had been on many medication treatment for years and years. Everyday she have to consume lots and lots of medicine pills just like taking sweets( just that medicine is bitter and sweet is nice) to stay on her life and even have to rely on a wheelchair to move. How could i ever have the heart to let her suffer more of her illness than letting her go peacefully?
For those who does not know my grandma, I am here to tell you a little about her! She is kind, happy and successful woman. As a Mum, she had 7 children. 4 sons and 3 daughter. For them, She is like the candle burning at night sacrificing herself every moment for her children. You can see how success she is when you saw her child had been successful in both their career and family. My dad is a doctor who is famous in my hometown for his kindness, my uncle is a captain on a large container ship traveling around the world and my aunt is a veteran executive in a company who is being respected by every one and etc. As a grandma, She is caring and kind to all her grandchild and grand grand child she had. I am one of the many grandchild who is blessed to have her kindness in my life. I always remember my grandma used to teach me ink brush writing(大楷) when she is stayed at my house when i am still at primary school. My dad and my sisters dont even bother about me at that moment as they were all busy with their studies and works. Not to mention, my mum dont know how to write ink brush writing too. My grandma smiled kindly at me when she saw my ugly ink brush writing book. She then offer her help to teach me to handle the ink brush and the proper way to write it. I can still feel the warm of her hand around my hand, holding me tightly now when i am typing this blog and thinking of her.... that is many sweet memories she had given to me too. For example, she is the only one who is talking kindly to me encouraging me to not to give up even i am the black sheep of the family after being failed my A level twice.
Last night, when taking an egg tart for supper, i remembered the last time i saw my grandma smile is when i bought her "Wong Kok Char Chan Teng"s egg tarts. She smiled sweetly when tasting them and claiming it remind her of her pass memory.As her smile was so sweet to me, I had managed to bought her the second time too when i visit her again. However, she is too ill at that moment to consume her beloved egg tart. It is a great pain for me to remember such memories.
I rushed back to Kampar this morning, the place where my university located, and manage to attend today's lecture instead being at her funeral. I know some might think that i am weird or disrespect my grandma. But it is her last wish to me that i am able to finish my university and make her and my parents proud. I, however, had wasted 3 years of time and money on my carefree life in Penang and failed A level twice. So i am now trying my best to fulfill the dreams she had always encouraging me to archive. I will make sure there is no more failure in my life!
I LOVE YOU GRANDMA! MAY YOU REST IN PEACE !P.S To all my family members, please love each other and stay unite. Take Care!
